Why Human relationships turn sour?
Humanity exist in relationships. Civilization is a relationship. Howsoever we may crave, we can not exist without relationships. Relationship could be life long like marriage or as Parent or it could be sporadic like that with bus driver, Milkman or Postman.
In spite of such immense importance of relationships, relationships often fail. When we talk of relationships, marriage is unnecessarily notorious. Parents of grownups find their relationship with children turning sour. Friends turn foe. Siblings who grow up together and have decade of joint past do not see each other eye to eye, in later life. What happens?
Is it marriage?
Answer is emphatic no. Marriage may be a catalyst in some cases but it certainly is not the cause. Marriage do introduce new characters and ideas in the equation of relationship and may require adjustments but that is not the only cause. Continue reading
Conspiracy is a serious word but it is most appropriate. If you are uncomfortable you may use planning but that is physical preparation. Conspiracy is state of mind to manipulate by any means necessary. Most of the time we are involved in conspiracy. Difficult to pinpoint when it starts. May be attempt to cheat in a game in Kinder Garden was first conspiracy. Something on social media inspired me to write following:
ईंसान: समय की प्रत्यचां पर उछलने वाले बिचारे इंसान को ज़िन्दगी को खेल समझते हुए भी, ज़िन्दगी को एक षड्यंत्र में बदल कर बड़ी ख़ुशी महसूस करते है यध्धपि षड्यंत्र किसी के भी नियंत्रण मे ज़्यादा देर नहीं रहते ।
Above would nearly translate in English as under:
Human: Tied to the fate, human do realise that the life is a play, yet they feel pleasure in converting into a conspiracy even though no conspiracy remains in anybody’s control for long.
Thus living becomes a long chain of planning, deception, manipulation and conspiracies. Newer and newer ideas are invented everyday to achieve desires or rather to chase thoughts we call ideas. How-so-ever small that desire may be.
Example of a smallest conspiracy:
Struggle for perfect living.
Peaceful living is not a concept or ideology but a recurring watchful way of living. It requires conscious effort to refrain from entering into conflict. Every step is to be carefully watched. Actually refrain is inappropriate word. Attempt to refrain itself creates conflict.
Perfection is thy name. So goes the idiom. But we have taken it too seriously. Some of us, like me, become perfectionists. Doing and redoing the same thing till it is perfect, which never happens as journey of perfection is oscillation from one state of mind to another. It may have some application in technical things but not in everything. It is worse reflected in home décor. How many furnishing or the houses we change, none is ever perfect. Even worst is in relationships. Discarding people does not bring up better people. Relationships keep failing.
The worst kind of perfectionists are clinical cases of obsession like hypochondriac who is obsessed to wash perfect clean. And there are those who are hardly bothered by surroundings but are obsessed by their own creativity. Many writers and painters etc. will fall in this category. Yet another kind are people who are simply not doing anything except when told to do. They are adolescents who never grew up.
What peace has to do with perfection?
The question is interesting. So is answer. In one word answer is ‘everything’. There are many flaws in life style which affect peace of mind terribly but the quest for perfection which we some time euphemistically call as ‘normal’ is, that creates a lot of problems. Normal is too overrated.
Dignity is the space we presume impenetrable. We decide not only our dignity but also that of people surrounded by us. For example here a person doing manual labour is not treated as dignified. Until few years or decade they would not be offered chair to sit on. It would be same at many places. But my mother has grown out of it. Similarly at places colour of skin determines the dignity. Ancestorship is another factor to judge dignity. Method of worship. Our fellow worshipper is equal rest are Kafirs. Dignity also comes into play as regards our expectation of others. ‘This is beneath your dignity.’ Is the usual response which indicate the s/he did not meet the expectation. Continue reading