Are we friends now?

Friendship is a relative word. Every acquaintance is not a friend but all friends are acquaintances. Though there may be invisible friends as well, but who indeed is a friend?

Who is a friend?

Definition of ‘friend’ is very dynamic. It changes from situation to situation, age to age and even place to place. But one thing is common. A person whom I can treat as friend must not have an interest hostile to me. Hostility does not necessarily relate to physical violence but also includes financial adverse interest. Continue reading

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Borrowers’ trap: Lend me money against my cheque, I shall return in 10 days!

Rupee-INR-Gandhi-1000-currency-note

© sandeepbhalla.com

Ever heard the preposition “Lend me money against my cheque, I shall return in 10 days!” or something similar. Borrowers are all around us. Often such preposition causes a dilemma. Accept or not to accept? What should be the excuse? If amount is small it is even more embarrassing. If a person from whom it is being borrowed is ill or indisposed, it should be embarrassing to borrower but it is not.

The debt business:

Long time ago I met a publisher who told me that ‘Borrowing’ is a latest business. Presently I am suing him in court for counterfeiting my books. But as an unscrupulous person, he knew the mentality very well. But it can not be generalized. But as far as strangers are concerned lending money is complete NO. But there are people around us act to be friends, neighbors, relatives etc. After are we are not going to sue them if they default. What about them? So the question is how to decide to lend or not to lend money? Continue reading

Borrowers' trap: Lend me money against my cheque, I shall return in 10 days!

Rupee-INR-Gandhi-1000-currency-note

© sandeepbhalla.com

Ever heard the preposition “Lend me money against my cheque, I shall return in 10 days!” or something similar. Borrowers are all around us. Often such preposition causes a dilemma. Accept or not to accept? What should be the excuse? If amount is small it is even more embarrassing. If a person from whom it is being borrowed is ill or indisposed, it should be embarrassing to borrower but it is not.

The debt business:

Long time ago I met a publisher who told me that ‘Borrowing’ is a latest business. Presently I am suing him in court for counterfeiting my books. But as an unscrupulous person, he knew the mentality very well. But it can not be generalized. But as far as strangers are concerned lending money is complete NO. But there are people around us act to be friends, neighbors, relatives etc. After are we are not going to sue them if they default. What about them? So the question is how to decide to lend or not to lend money? Continue reading

Pain, Pain, Pain and Relationships

Human relationships:

Nothing else seem more complicated than human relationships. Every single person is impregnant with pain caused by relationships. The nature of relationship is irrelevant. One could be related by blood, marriage, carnal pleasure or just friendship; it is all the same.
Is it really so complicated? I do not think so. Our thinking process makes it complicated.
The only principle of fairness is Reciprocation. I must not do something to you, which I would not like you to do to me. The second part is returning the favour. So far everyone would agree.
The problem starts when we justify the departure from above principle on the ground of special or exceptional circumstances.
Thereafter the worst part arrives: Judgement of reasons. Yes I will judge your special circumstances and will find you guilty most of the times, if not always. You will judge my reasons and will decide against me.
What next? Retribution and revenge in the name of fairness. Manipulation, deceit, lies and treachery are elevated to justified means to achieve the object. Relationship becomes a war. Every interaction an opportunity to strike. Strange part is that it just start to happen almost spontaneously. Often in a spur of moment, in the face of opportunity.
Result is pain, more pain, even more pain. So what to do?

Say No

Say No Get out with simple straight forward ‘NO’. No is a very powerful defence if properly and selectively used. The moment we can see that we are being judged, say no and get out of there. And don’t judge others. Keeping affairs of life and relationships, simple, does help. This the general concept of solution and not a blue print to triumph relationship. Even otherwise Conquering is alien to living. Conquerors do not live. Only their campaigns live. They die the moment campaign is born.
Happy living.
Just another lazy Thought on lazy Sunday.