Physical hurt is, ordinarily, a temporary affair. The pain finds a plateau and subsides. Emotional hurt is like skeletons in an empty box. A blow of air, a shift in pace or a stumble on a perceived step, anything can cause carrion to rattle. Hurt turns inward as despair or depression. Hurt, when reflects outwardly, it is an anger for catharsis. That is good part of it, if there is anything good in it. The worse is that cinder of hurt keeps burning inside charcoal of despair or depression and looks for next opportunity of catharsis by anger or violence. What causes emotional hurt? People? Society? Illogical people? Injustice? Illness? Failure (whatever that means to an individual)? Physical deformity? Other’s success (whatever that means to an individual)? Other’s failure?
The last one is most serious. We can be dismayed at others. We may not like others. We may judge others yet we can be hurt by the judgement of a person who is “failure in life” or a person of judged “low morals”. Why? Such person should be of no consequence. Why bother about gyrations of another person, especially the one who is a failure in our eyes?
Actually answer lies in the structure of mind. The so-called ‘feeling of hurt’ or despair is a thought structured on a pyramid of other thoughts/memories. A mind ‘without thought’ does not exist. But a thought is like a fish without water. It needs anchor. An anchor to anything. Thought or memory, both are same. It knows only to cling. It keeps on clinging and result is what we call ‘chain of thoughts’. It will find anchor where-ever it can find, there is no priority of order in selecting the reason for hurt and despair.
Movement of mind
The strange movement of mind is that we get hurt about other’s ‘perceived’ views about ‘ourselves’. In other words if Mr. X relent his views about Mr. N, I can be hurt by identifying with my intelligence that I am ‘Mr. N’.
How and why it happens?
Because mind is always in judgement about itself. Mind has an image of it’s being and no one can trample upon that image, accidentally or intentionally. (Also called false vanity.) The image is a structure or pattern of thought. Any person removing/altering/interfering any structure or any stanza from that thought is guilty of blasphemy. Resulting feeling is: Let us kill that bastard. Let us kill all such bastards. That may be anger but it is camouflaged in reasonableness. It has basis in ‘logical’ thinking; as much can be found in a loop. That is also the justification for terrorism. The Anger continues. The ember inside keeps finding new people to abuse, stone, kill, bomb or to nuke.
That is the structure of mind till we see how it works and realize how ethereal is hurt and pain, fueling anger and violence. Only then any change is possible. Otherwise we continue to exist in loop of thought/hurt/pain and suffer while making all around us suffer as well.
© Sandeep Bhalla