Two friends talk:
First: Why there are stray dogs, animals and crows etc. squatting out at pavement near your dining room window, everyday morning?
Reply: My wife is a great cook and these are admirers of her art, on this planet.
First friend: Does your wife know?
Reply: No but rest of family does.
(Liberty to laugh)
New Delhi also happens to be divorce capital of India with highest number of matrimonial disputes pending in courts. Considering this dis-harmonious atmosphere, I was anxious about my marriage. What should I do and what not to do. First I took out Black’s Dictionary and looked up the word husband. According to the dictionary it originated from the term ‘House bond’. This made me even more nervous. Bondage? I consulted a friend, Mr. X as usual. He listened to my problem and advised me to be in touch with IAHH which was a Non-Governmental Organisation devoted to uplifting the standards of marital relationships. I went to this NGO and became a member. The gave me a charter of ten rules to follow. These Rules are:
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It was my graduation year from High School or something and I was advised to take up side classes in computer programming. That was so long ago that DOS (Disk Operating System) was not born as yet. It is said that love is at first sight. But I prefer Hindu version of incarnation, according to which the Union of marriage takes place after many incarnations and (Union) can be repeated in many lives.
Karva Chauth is celebrated in large part of North Indian women, married or engaged. They fast from sunrise to moon rise. This fast is rigorous as it enjoins no food and no drink i.e. No water.
While it is claimed that it is celebrated for safety and welfare of husband or for prosperity by good harvest, presently it is a thanks giving festival. Yes. It is a ritual, the manner of execution of this ritual depicts as to how a wife feels about her life and marriage. It is not about husband alone as made out to be.
The manner of celebration, if observed closely by husband, will give a clue as to how she feels about her life. Notice the difference from previous years. It is the variation from last year (go no further than last year) which is important. Extravaganza means she feels that she is in control of life which means family. Mere formality like festivities ritually adorned means she has accepted the life, means marriage, some how. Too much shouting all through the day on everybody except husband means husband is presumed guilty of something.
This observation must also take into account the age of marriage as well. An older marriage will automatically have lesser extravaganza than newly wed ones.
A careful observation can make an astute husband, a pandit of his marriage.
Do not try to discuss it over. Do not try to do anything on weather report. Just be patient. Weather keeps on changing. If it is winter it will be over, soon. Be more warm all the time. If it is springs, enjoy!
© Sandeep Bhalla
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