Why relationships fail?

The most important person in the Universe

All relationships including romantic ones fail because of one single core issue i.e. deep rooted desire to dominate. We may believe in any God or may not believe at all but we practice one God i.e. ourselves. We are supreme. Our desires are foremost and most urgent. Others can wait or should wait. Can we at any given moment visualise that we are not the centre of the universe?  Do we ever see any inter-connection? Continue reading

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Karva chauth, the festival of marriage or husband in India

Only for boys; Girls may excuse us:

Karva Chauth is celebrated in large part of North Indian women, married or engaged. They fast from sunrise to moon rise. This fast is rigorous as it enjoins no food and no drink i.e. No water.
While it is claimed that it is celebrated for safety and welfare of husband or for prosperity by good harvest, presently it is a thanks giving festival. Yes. It is a ritual, the manner of execution of this ritual depicts as to how a wife feels about her life and marriage. It is not about husband alone as made out to be.

Thanks but no thanks.

The manner of celebration, if observed closely by husband, will give a clue as to how she feels about her life. Notice the difference from previous years. It is the variation from last year (go no further than last year) which is important. Extravaganza means she feels that she is in control of life which means family. Mere formality like festivities ritually adorned means she has accepted the life, means marriage, some how. Too much shouting all through the day on everybody except husband means husband is presumed guilty of something.
This observation must also take into account the age of marriage as well. An older marriage will automatically have lesser extravaganza than newly wed ones.
A careful observation can make an astute husband, a pandit of his marriage.

Caution:

Do not try to discuss it over. Do not try to do anything on weather report. Just be patient. Weather keeps on changing. If it is winter it will be over, soon. Be more warm all the time. If it is springs, enjoy!

© Sandeep Bhalla

Live-in relationships or convenient marriage in India with its historical and legal perspective

Manu Dharam Shstra (a.k.a. Hindu Manusmriti)

There is no denying that the ancient law governing this part of land was Manusmriti. It is believed that this Vedic Dharam Shastra is over 10,000 yers old. The documented version of this law of Manu came into existence later. Manusmriti governed all aspect of human life including marriage and carnal pleasures. At the time of Ramayana and Mahabharata, Manusmriti was the known law as it is referred therein at many places. According to Manusmriti there were following eight forms of marriages:

  1. Spontaneous Marriage: Gift of maiden spontaneously after clothing and referencing her.
  2. Daiva Marriage: Gift of a daughter to a priest as part of fee for performing the vedic rites of sacrifice.
  3. Arsha Marriage: Gift of maiden in exchange of two cattle from bridegroom.
  4. Prajapatya Marriage: Gift of maiden When gift is made while addressing both the pair “Together do your duty”
    [Present saptpada (seven steps) marriages including Anand Karaj is a derivative of above four types of marriages]
  5. Asura Marriage: Gift of maiden after receiving the wealth from bridegroom, as much as he can pay.
  6. Gandharva Marriage: Voluntary Connection between man and woman. (Present day love marriage.)
  7. Rakshasa Marriage: Forcible abduction of of maiden crying out and weeping after slaying and wounding her relatives.
  8. Pishacha Marriage: Secretly approaching the girl asleep, intoxicated or confused. It is the most sinful of all marriages and is prohibited.

Live-in relationships or convenient marriage in India Continue reading

Child Marriage is illegal in India, irrespective of Religion!

Legality of Child Marriage.

Background of Child Marriage:

Child Marriage or marriage of minors, like most of the other countries, was a traditional practice in India; where elders would commit to marry their minor children. Various laws have been enacted from time to time to curb this practice, but it is not completely routed out. However, among Hindus, the child marriage itself has never been declared void by law. In respect to other religions, the problem had not been addressed at all. However there are two High Courts of  India whose Full Benches have held that now, in the wake of changes in law, Child Marriage is illegal and ineffectual till the child reaches age of consent, and a two-year time period elapses thereafter during which he/she can seek annulment of child marriage.
Is this a Child Marriage in 2009?
The ill-effect of such marriages are well-known. Besides the health and life of child, it has social fallout as well. Some of the ill effects have been summarised by UNICEF here. According to Unicef, world’s 40% child marriages take place in India. Continue reading

Secret of a happy married life

Once Banta asked Santa, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?”

Santa said, “You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.”

Banta asked, “Can you explain?”

Santa said, “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”

Still not convinced, Banta asked, “Give me some examples” Santa said, “Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it”

Banta asked, “Then what is your role?”

Santa said, “My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these”.

via SantaBanta Jokes — Secret of a happy married life.