Guidelines issued for war between India and Pakistan

A comical satire:

Process to be followed for any surgical strike here after –

1 – Henceforth, arrange for all proofs of your operations in 3 copies – One for Indians, One for Pakistan and One for Pakistanis within India.

2 – Bring HD quality videos of operations. Appearance of dying terrorists is s MUST in these videos.

3 – Bring at least 25-50 photographs clearly showing site BEFORE and AFTER operation.

4 – Preferably, bring a video with an interview of an eye witness with a 3 copies of printouts with his signature and KYC proofs.

5 – Bring biometric proof of all terrorists claimed to have been killed – Thumbs, Eyes etc.

6 – Bring Photo Identity of all killed terrorists to prove that they were actually not Indians.

7 – Ask an independent auditor appointed by UN to match the numbers claimed by you and that of Pakistan.

8 – Submit all medical reports of all participating Jawans BEFORE and AFTER operation to prove that they were actually not harmed.

9 – To claim support, participation of any Government agencies – Ministers, PMO, NSA, RAW, IB – submit video recordings of all the meetings held along with certified Minutes of Meetings.

10 – All the proofs mentioned above will be considered valid and true if and only if certified by at least three of the following persons:

– NDTV Journalists
– Ex-NDTV Journalists
– Kashmiri leaders -Hurriyat, JKLF, Jamaat-e-Islami
– Opposition Leader
– WB CM
– Delhi CM
– Anyone who has returned his award
– Anyone with connections with Maoist or Urban Naxal group
– Leader from Dhuru Wadi (If you do not know the place, use Google Maps)
– Anyone who has won foreign awards like Booker, Magasaysay, Nobel etc.
– Anyone who has stayed in Lutyens for 10+ years and has been driven out in last 4 years

STATUTORY WARNING:

If you miss even a single of the 9 items or fail to get 3 signatures from above list, the operation will deemed NOT to have been CONDUCTED.

(Received on WA)

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