To live peacefully, live imperfectly. 

Struggle for perfect living.

Peaceful living is not a concept or ideology but a recurring watchful way of living. It requires conscious effort to refrain from entering into conflict. Every step is to be carefully watched. Actually refrain is inappropriate word. Attempt to refrain itself creates conflict.

Perfection is thy name. So goes the idiom. But we have taken it too seriously. Some of us, like me, become perfectionists. Doing and redoing the same thing till it is perfect, which never happens as journey of perfection is oscillation from one state of mind to another. It may have some application in technical things but not in everything. It is worse reflected in home décor. How many furnishing or the houses we change, none is ever perfect. Even worst is in relationships. Discarding people does not bring up better people. Relationships keep failing.

The worst kind of perfectionists are clinical cases of obsession like hypochondriac who is obsessed to wash perfect clean. And there are those who are hardly bothered by surroundings but are obsessed by their own creativity. Many writers and painters etc. will fall in this category. Yet another kind are people who are simply not doing anything except when told to do. They are adolescents who never grew up.

What peace has to do with perfection?

The question is interesting. So is answer. In one word answer is ‘everything’. There are many flaws in life style which affect peace of mind terribly but the quest for perfection which we some time euphemistically call as ‘normal’ is, that creates a lot of problems. Normal is too overrated.

Our quest for being normal is more like a daily fluctuation in stock market  and differing opinions about it. We meet people, we see people, we see advertisements, see and create images. Now we want to be those images. While we believe in our uniqueness yet we want to merge with crowd and yet again cry of individuality and privacy. What a contradiction and conflict. No doubt mind find it at cross roads and being pulled away in four or more different directions.

Achieving imperfection:

Achieving imperfection is no easy task. A few years back an anecdote about Einstein was narrated to me. It goes like this:

“A person asked Einstein as to why he wears the same dress every day?
Einstein replied that it was not correct.
But he clarified that he had six pairs of identical coat and trousers which he adorn everyday.
He also explained that there was no point in wasting time as to what to wear, everyday.”

This is perfect imperfection. Comparing and changing. Allures by every new product simply because it is new. New also means new problems.

Another example is people blogging on Window XP who simply did not bother for eight or ten years till they switched window 7 or 8. Regarding OS, I have also switched to LTS edition of Linux Mint which is supported for four years. Trying one distro after another in search of perfect is confined to juvenile past. Better to stick to dependable rather than exotic.

Having said that, it is not always easy. If walls of home or office start to peel itself off, it can not be avoided. Renovation is the only answer even though it will be a real pain in all the places not worth mentioning. And since this can not be postponed any further, this inspired me to write this post. I wonder for those who change entire decor and spend weeks struggling in the market to buy furnishings just for the change. How much energy they must be having? But then they always look exhausted. Ask about any problem or opinion, they have no energy left to process. They just become a garbage recycling apparatus.

Moving on from home decor to relationships, there is little difference between the two. Some relationships start to peel off, some become broken shower, exuding emotions or thoughts without bothering for place and time. These relatives are fixed by axing. There are no plumbers to fix a leaking relative or to paint a hideous relationship to a Van Gogh or Monet. Yet there are some relationships are like that door knob which fell down and remain adrift for some time only to disappear when needed.

Unlike home decor, fixes are often not possible in relationships and it is time to move on.

About Sandeep Bhalla

A lawyer, thinker, author, Linux/Ubuntu power user and sometime an economist or gardener or philosopher or cook or photographer depending upon the current thought and environment. View all posts by Sandeep Bhalla

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