Relationship with sorrow.

Sorrow is our most intimate friend.

Any thing happens, we slide in the cold lap of sorrow. Everybody has reasons to be sad. However different, these reasons may be, yet how similar these reasons are. One such reason is disappointment. Our hopes, aspirations or expectations are crushed so often that often it seems to be the only source of disappointment.

Sorrow from impossibility.

Of course there is always a cause of impossibility like death of near or dear or illness. About death, I had a recent brush with it when my father died last year. I was sad as ‘I’ had lost a dear and trusted friend. I could talk to him almost anything. Regarding my advice to him, he always agreed with me but never followed. At a ripe age of 90 and with degenerating mind and body, should his death be a reason for sorrow?

Perhaps not. Yet my first inclination was to slide into sorrow. Honestly it took me an hour or two to recover from it and grapple with facts. Yet in a few days sorrow gripped me again when I discovered new low in the behaviour of a blood relative who behaved like blood hound. Disappointed as I was, it took me to understand the cause of this sorrow. In fact blood relatives cause maximum pain of disappointments. Why?

A particular behaviour or one person may cause sorrow yet similar arrogant or greedy behaviour of another evokes smile. Why?

It is all about our expectations which are based on comparison and analysis.

Thou shall not judge thou neighbour.

It appears that we have built up a scrutiny mechanism in our minds which is always busy in evaluating people, events, circumstances, possessions and what not, with our expected picture of events, people etc. We simply can not help not doing it. The above quote from bible was told to me by a Muslim friend of my father when I was a teenager boy and did not know that it is from bible. It appears there is too much emphasis on neighbour and as a result this quote has lost its efficacy. What we need is not evaluate, judge or compare anything unless it pertains to our needs. I will not advise to buy anything without comparison especially in this monopolistically competitive market. But beyond that, let the mind rest.

Let events happen, let people behave immaturely, let we earn less than somebody else and have cheaper car or house. It does not matter till we put our mind to it and open the door of sorrow.

There is no back door for sorrow to get in. Let the mind rest for a while. Look at flowers or furniture but do not press mind into it. Let it rest.

A much needed rest.

About Sandeep Bhalla

A lawyer, thinker, author, Linux/Ubuntu power user and sometime an economist or gardener or philosopher or cook or photographer depending upon the current thought and environment. View all posts by Sandeep Bhalla

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