Art of socializing

Socializing is a new name to create a marketable interaction with people so as to remain visible on social radar and thus available for hire. Socializing is an art which requires skill. In fact socializing requires many skills. Some of these skills are articulated here under:

1. Socializing with gifts:

Gift is the best way to seek attention. More expensive the gift, more attention it will get. The shrewd person would certainly not waste an expensive gift on a minion. The proportion has to weighed carefully. That is why it is a skill.
There is another aspect of gifts. The gift received from others. Keep those gifts indexed in a file with the name of donor and rotate the gifts received from one circle to another. A friend had a room full of gifts and my guess is that she used to devote several hours every weekend to manage gifts. Fortunately her husband has retired from lucrative government job and her ordeal is less now.

2. Be economical with truth while socializing:

Truth is irrelevant. Nobody is interested in truth. Every person invents his own truth and reality. Any attempt to bring a person out of his reality would be met with resistance which on occasion can be violent.
Truth is painful. Who will volunteer to undergo pain? Nobody. Hence the right course is to stay away from truth. But do not stray into the wild of outlandish lying or bragging. Just be economical with truth and words and let others brag and boast. They will reveal more of themselves and obliged to a great listener (read friend) like you.

3. Be superficial in conversation:

Nobody is interested in genius. Einstein lived alone and wore similar clothes everyday. May be you are better than Einstein but do not let others know of it. Talk superficial things. Take no stand. Neither be a leftist nor a rightist. Neither a bourgeoisie not a proletariat; Neither liberal nor conservative; neither democrat nor republican. I once asked a stock trader friend. Are you a bull or bear? His reply was: Neither, I am a cockroach who slips through the two. That sums up.
Drop no pearl of wisdom. Nobody bothers for advice given in public. Don’t waste your kind effort. The principle of socializing is: ‘Do no good and ensure that no good comes through you.’ After all idea is to market yourself. Drop a hint that you may help but go no further. Be superficial.

4. Socializing with short jokes:

Short jokes or one liner jests are the best conversations which obey all the rules above. After all one has to speak something occasionally. Make sure that jokes are short because nobody is interested in you or your jokes. They are here either to socialize (read to market) or worse to unburden their chest by projecting a sympathy seeking pictures of the ordeals they suffered in the past. So be on sidelines and interrupt only if necessary.

5. Food and drinks:

Food is served at the parties to make a holistic picture of the event. Taste if you like but better stay away from everything that is not cooked before your eyes. As regards drinks, these are served so that your hands remain busy. One with phone and other with glass. Drinks are not served for drinking but for holding.
The right course to attend a party is to take a nap in afternoon. Take dinner at home and reach the party to socialize. Make sure to pretend that you are eating and drinking. Remember to tell the host that how great everything was. After all living itself is pretentious why it be different in socializing.

6. Do not stay long at party:

The importance of a person is judged on the basis of number of seekers. Be late to reach the party and leave early in a hurry. Do tell the host and everybody around that you have to go to another party but because this was important you came here first or second. This will make you a busy person. And all busy people are important people? No? Ask any busy person.

7. Compassion is a luxury, only Buddha can afford:

If at any time, in life, you are burdened with thought to be honest or compassionate, tell yourself that you are no Buddha. You can not help without getting anything or something in return. No free advice. However simple it may be. You can not afford simplicity in life. After all this is what everyone is doing. How can it be wrong. If thought still haunts drink till dropped drunk. Hopefully notion would be gone by next morning.

Enjoy life! You have made it, whatever it is.