Suicide is the strongest and last disapproval of life. It is all over the news that debonair Minister’s wife died in mysterious circumstances. How Sunanda Pushkar wife of Minister Shashi Tharoor died is wrapped in mystery. Cause of death is not known probably drug overdose. Ability to keep secrets is not the trait, known for this Minister but the Government machinery is expert in that till the press shred it by quoting ‘reliable sources’. It is apparent that the lady was under acute stress if not depression. It is also apparent that Tharoor was suspected to be romantically involved with a Pakistani Journalist. BTW adultery if committed by a male person in India, it is not a penal crime even if it may be a matrimonial misconduct.
This death resembles to frequent cause of suicide in teenagers: Love. The fairy tale romance of Pushker and Tharoor, sudden marriage and opulent living had not expected such sad and tragic end.
There are questions and questions and there will never be clear answers. But let’s get the questions straighten out.
1. Was Sunanda under treatment for depression? If yes, Did Doctor ensure that she does not have ‘large quantity’ of anti-depressent or other drugs readily available to her?
2. Was Sunanda disappointed with her husband or because of the fact that it was her second marriage and apparently not working well.
3. Who was the last person to see Sunanda and what she said to her/him?
3. What really is love if it is based on a code of conduct or conditions?
4. Is it mere emotional to make living contingent upon one person or event or is it irrational?
5. It is not easy for everyone not to poke in every available open pie. Why such person should marry at all? For inheritance and succession?
6. What makes a life worth living: relationship, wealth, media glare, love, some of it or all of it or our irrational and fluctuating belief about all these things?
7. Is it fair to commit suicide at all when so many people are suffering on this planet and we lived for ourselves and our happiness and are ready to die for it?
8. Why can’t we live with our unhappiness, disappointments, disgust, disillusionment and disdain? What makes that impossible?
9. Why is it that women, educated and affluent, has more reasons for suicidal despair than the uneducated and poor? Is it higher expectation of fairness from life?
10. Life is unfair and so are people around us who are also mean and selfish. Does that mean everyone should commit suicide? Why not live like oasis of fairness, even if isolated and alone?
11. Is it fair to interfere with process of life when it started as an accident, planned or unplanned?
12. Why we are so impatient so as not to watch the whole show called “life”? Is it because we are too involved with our role in it and find too many changes illogical? If yes, whose logic is it?
13. Lonely we all are, in company or not? But why not accept it as a fact and celebrate the inconsistent and irregular dews of company; pretended or unpretended.
My dear suicider,
There would be many more questions but answers are not important because each answer has its own questions. But knowing the right questions can make the story of life interesting. Knowing answers is boring.
Those impatient to commit suicide are earnestly requested not ride on the ‘thoughts’ because thought is not the life nor is it ‘you’. To know life, is to understand it; is to see it. To see something we need to focus on big picture of entire humanity and not our silly little disappointments which may prove to a boon if only we had given a chance to the life to unfold.
Treachery, betrayal and deception is something we humans are most hypocrite about. Our civilisation has roots in treachery and when I say that I am not referring to political treachery committed by Kings, Ministers and Politicians. How humans survived on this planet? How we annihilated all animals which were far more ferocious and stronger than us? How we converted beasts into pets? How we eat and kill pets or their children or eggs? How will milk a cow by showing her calf or its hide and she thinks milk is for calf? How corporations make profit by selling same thing over and over? Examples are unlimited. The treachery is our habit, whether we need it of not any more is besides the point.
So next time a human is treacherous do not be alarmed. Take is as part of the deal. We are a treacherous race and no intelligent species which has known and studied us would come near us. But we can change it only by changing ourselves. Let treacherous find their destiny.
This is also one of the reasons for inconsistent human behaviour
Dear Suicider, there are no special privileges for being naïve. Please see around and look at facts. Please give life another chances to unfold. You being in pain is the only hope for humanity for you may not do such things done to you. Do not waste the opportunity and the great show of deception. Live another day as dead to your thoughts, perceptions and ideologies. That is real death without physically dying. Resurrect yourself each morning killing the past and the world will be different.
All the best to living.
P.SM: Before I am reminded, let me clarify that word ‘suicider’ does not fall in any dictionary but it has earned that right. So be it.
© Sandeep Bhalla