No one accepts no one. We may like a few things about a few people but are incapable of accepting any one completely. Our fractured acceptance is known to the mind and in response there is intense craving for acceptance which also means attention. This is the cause of our propensity to compliments and flattery. This is also the cause of our acting like living. Not only we manipulate ourselves, our habits, our smiles, our expressions or even taste but openly discuss ways to improve performance! If in everyday living, in relationships like marriage or parenting or to be just a child, performance had been helpful, there would have been no sorrow in this world.
Apart from ignorance, there are other reasons for such behaviour and it does not begin with TV, though it has a great influence. The first reason is upbringing. We are brought up in an atmosphere where every day we need to perform to be ‘good’ or for a candy. The system of reward and punishment. Our habits are formed on the basis of need, greed and desire. We become great hypocrite and great performer. We say compliments when we should criticise. We express agreement when we want to detest.
Earning in this world of monopolistic competition and shingle of governance, is not easy. We need to perform for ‘living’. We lie to boss, customers, clients, colleagues and to whom not, with convincing face. Performance means everything.
Let me give a reverse example. That of a screen actor failing to come out of his character. There was a superstar Mr. A who worked with Mr. B in a super hit Hindi movie and A called B as ‘Babu Moshai’ in that movie. In real life B dethroned A from the pedestal of superstar and perhaps they rarely met. After 40 years they meet on stage and A calls B as ‘Babu Moshai’. BTW ‘A’ lived life in pain of ‘losing’ success when he could have celebrated the silence after success.
The crux of matter is knowing every moment, if it is a performance or real. We forget like that actor did. We start mixing up our roles. Our performances become hollow and the earlier ‘success’ of relationships becomes failure.
Changing habits like getting up late or early etc. does not matter. Change is the real name of conundrum called life. But to perform is dangerous. Worst, for every performer there is a greater performer. If honesty can not touch something, that does not deserve to be touched. Be simple for simplicity is ultimate sophistication.
© Sandeep Bhalla