We are the centre of our universe. Relationships are based on our expectations. The least we expect is that the other person should care for us. But that is the least. Expectations are often immense. Immense expectations have immense impossibilities. Ambitions do not make life any easier. Some people expect that they are entitled to behave like irresponsible adolescent while expecting others to foot the bill.
Such relationships are headed for doom or worst, a disaster for all. The disasters, some time last very long. To over come and survive such disasters is painful and slow but not impossible. However not repeating the same mistake is something which takes more than mere effort, courage and will.
Sharing of resources is a concept different from giving and taking. A relationship which has uneven patterns of sharing resources, is precarious, to say the least. While hiding one or more nucleus of monetary resource from the others may be a norm, but concealment thereof while sharing a household depicts extreme insecurity if not mistrust altogether. Such shallow relationships requires extreme patience and close scrutiny before jumping to any conclusion.
We can display care by mundane means like gifts. The life of such display is limited to one or two days till the sensation of novelty lasts. A technical gift may last longer i.e. till its technical details are mastered. Most relationships are, now a days being reinforced with gossips and gifts.
However a genuine relationship is based on mutual care which can only arise from compassion. A compassion for life and those living. Such compassionate care is for needs without expectation or the need to follow any duty. It is not relevant whether duty was defined by law, society, religion, ritual of parents. Care taken out of duty is deception. A fine art of manipulation like gift.
What is relationship?
So what is relationship? A give and take? While commercial relationships can not travel far away from give and take, personal relationships often have such overture.
Revelation of truth is always depressing, especially when it is accompanied with illusion that it is happening to ‘me’. Why? is next question which being misdirected, can yield no answer. The correct question is: Is it really happening to me alone? The answer to this question, if given by me, it would be my answer. The answer has to be discovered by closely looking at life, people their actions and results, over period of time. The awakening is ability to see through the maze of human deception in relationships.
There are people who can clearly see through the deception. But they have taken a different path. They want to exploit this knowledge to manipulate the relationships. Now a new game has started with its chances of winning and losing. Winner makes no complaint but loser is back to the loop which has no door. Despair, depression and suicide.
What is the way out?
Each of us has to see this process. Being honest with self would be a good way to start. If at receiving end, wake up from the sleep of expectations and look clearly at the road ahead. And if not, just stop.