It is a long time since people have stopped inviting me for funeral. It has something to do with my face. If I don’t smile I look ridiculous but if I smile, it spoils the serenity of pain and sadness. Either way people find my face amusing. However the most painful funerals are where husband dies after taking divorce and leaves everything to parents. Never attend such funeral.
People are sad for wrong reasons. In fact people are sad all the times for wrong reasons. The depth of pain is felt in case of young death. Too young to develop economy of relations and therefore least prone to give benefit from death. But on such occasions grieving people themselves laugh at the innocent actions of the deceased, which were so pleasing.
The other funerals are a hoax. More an attempt to display solidarity with the surviving rather than pain for the deceased. Truth is that we are incapable of feeling pain for anybody. We grieve that we may not be the next. The grief is either for ourselves inspite of a dainty display of sadness or it reminds us of our past experiences of sadness.
No, I had not been to any funeral. I met a person who was as unfit for funeral as myself. But she was fit for invitation to marriage. I am incompetent for ‘fat Indian wedding’ as well. The colossal waste of resources on a mere show off, is such a stupid act which can not be ignored unless a person is drunk or an automaton.
It saddens me more. Looking sad or with a poker face, at a marriage is a clear reason for being a persona non grata.
Therefore here I am blogging, for me no good, for anything else at all.
© Sandeep Bhalla