Why relationships fail?

The most important person in the Universe

All relationships including romantic ones fail because of one single core issue i.e. deep rooted desire to dominate. We may believe in any God or may not believe at all but we practice one God i.e. ourselves. We are supreme. Our desires are foremost and most urgent. Others can wait or should wait. Can we at any given moment visualise that we are not the centre of the universe?  Do we ever see any inter-connection?
Individualism or the so-called misplaced personal liberty “to do what one may like” is misinterpreted as liberty to do anything with anybody. That sounds like motto of a serial killer not a normal person. My freedom to act ends where the nose of next person starts.
So we as reasonable, kind-hearted persons, how we treat our pets? How we treat our friends, spouse, relatives i.e. siblings, parents cousins or so on? How we relate to them. We relate to our classmates, children by extending a helping hand. How we do it with others? Do we ever remember them except when we need them?  When loneliness bothers us, we cling to any straw we can reach to.
No no, not you. I know you keep calling everybody all the time. Pleasant nice talk. But what do you talk about? What they need? Their problems? No no. You talk about yourself. How you solved your similar problem. You the most important person in your life. As I am most important person in my Universe.

The problem is not that I am the most important person but the problem is that people desert the Universe and the most important person is left alone. Each important person lives in his own universe. Alone! Many Universes share an abode but all are alone and lonely. Together in loneliness with nothing to relate to each other.

Yes the above description is rather generic. Often failure is due to economic or intellectual incompatibility or habits. But I still find that behind all the logical reasons, there is a ‘world conqueror‘ hidden behind a reasonable person.

Reverse domination is another problem. It is most patently visible in adolescence. Any advice, how so ever good is taken as a opportunity to dominate. No matter how sincere is the advice it is perceived as domination, even if intention is genuine. However this does not stop at adolescent age and resentment to advice often continue whole life.

© Sandeep Bhalla

5 thoughts on “Why relationships fail?

  1. Pingback: The Civilized and The Barbarian. | Sandeep Bhalla's Blog

  2. Such an important observation. The distinction between “me and thee” is nebulous, contrary to what most people are accustomed to thinking. I am pretty sure that distinction is more apparent in the West. Btw, I appreciate your blog of yesterday in which you voiced a concern for those less fortunate. We are “our brother’s keeper” in spite of what my country’s hyper-conservatives want to believe.

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